My Photo Album!!
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: http://johnnycrunch.tripod.com/deez/

Queso Photo

After many many years and thousands of requests- I finally have some pictures online!! I will add more as time goes on.
Just think- you've read the stories, shared in the excitement- now SEE the people!! Real life stuff.
My life, man. Coming from my heart.

If you have any requests for pictures of people from my Blog, please email my Webmaster, the Preflight Dude, at

supermanorama@gmail.com

He might be able to help out. He is a webmaster.

thanks. Keep sketching. The chicks will come.
Queso Photo

Queso El Story Chapter 16
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: hey phreakshow!
Once when I was a kid, we lived on this farm in Nebraska.It was awesome. It had a swimming pool, a rollercoaster, a petting zoo, and a waterfall. Did I mention the ninjas?Yeah, ninjas, too. I called it the Ninja Farm. Did you ever see the Tootsie roll commercial when the kid sees tootsie rolls everywhere he looks? My Ninja Farm was like that. Back in 74, the first time I saw Good Guys Wear Black, with my Godfather and person I was named after, Chuck Norris, I was hooked. Chuck was widely misunderstood all the way up until his death. [ Isn't he still alive?] Yeah. See , the guy you see now is not the real Chuck Norris. He's a government clone who's been programmed to train new Ninjas who are up and coming. He trained me until I figured it out. I was on ninja level 28 and he was still trying to teach me Level 19 stuff.I realized there was a glitch. Like when my Steppenwolf record got stuck one time, and it was new, so I just thought the scratching was a new sound for them. I mean, all the hip cats were doing it. but after 3 hours of grooving to the same sound, my step dad came in a kicked my record player over. Lucky for him I was a pacifist then. But anyway, the Chuck Norris clone guy got me off to a good start. He had a part time job at the skating rink. Whenever someone had a birthday party hosted there, He was in charge of putting up the balloons. See one time, the owners' son was hurt really bad taking balloons down after a party. The kids class ring got hung on the hooks on the ceiling and almost ripped his finger off. So some of the kids teased Mr. Norris, yelling " Good Guys Hang Balloons!". Not funny. Anyway, if I ever reach Ninja Level 319, I get my own farm. All farms are run by Ninjas. Mine will be called " Chucks Groovy Psychadelic Ninja Pharm".

Words of Queso, from this author
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: over-ripe fresh-squeezed california females
You've read Queso's own words about his life. Allow me to say a few from my heart.

Queso is a guy who is stuck in time. He's not frozen like Han Solo or Ted Williams, but stuck in his own twisted glorious past. He's a dork in our time. In our time he's a dork. But he is cool in his time. In his time , he is cool. In his mind, there are Chevy vans cruising that never need gas. Bell bottoms are never too big. And corduroys are never too swishy. In Quesoland, the chicks all want him, they always want him, and they're all foxy mamas. In Quesoville, someone needs sketching as we speak. A rock needs painting, and it's always 1974. No wait, it was 75. No...it was most certainly 74.

Queso El Story Chapter 15
Did I ever tell you about the time when I suspended from high school? Well I was. Believe it or not, I went to school with several famous people who were suspended from school at one time or another. I'll have to tell you all about it. We all had to serve our suspension in the basement of the basketball gym. So you're down there, trying to study-see back in '74, we were good kids and we studied during suspensions- and the basketball guys would be going up and down the court. Thump Thump Thump. Sometimes I would fall asleep and hear it and I would be dreaming about a giant ninja teddy bear chasing me. Or maybe a pack of rabid gerbils. I'm not sure. They sound just alike. Once I was having the dream and I kicked out a window in my sleep. Well almost. So there I was, serving suspension and this girl walks in. She was such a foxy lady, I couldn't stand it. But I was really cool about the whole thing. She sat down beside me and told me to skip the sketching, she wanted me right there on the floor. I told her to 'Cool out, man.' Then I made her sit calmly while I drew this elaborate scene on my desk of her and a thousand angels riding suede horses mounted on a corduroy carousel. It was really neat. I had lines showing the horses muscles and everything. But when I finished, she was gone. She muttered something about losing a nail or losers who fail or something. I dunno. While I was coloring in the scene with chalk I had modified from the regular chalk using my own various body fluids, another goddess walked in. I swear. They must have put up a notice on the bulletin board that I was down here. So I told her that the girl in the scene was her, trying to get lucky, but no dice. I mean, I know this girl was blonde and the one in the drawing was redhead, but I told her that in my fantasies about her, she was a redhead. But then she looked closely and saw the girl in the drawing had 'Ginger' on her cheerleading outfit and that was the same as the captain of the cheerleading team. Anyway, she just couldn't get with the love. So I told her, "The ocean is a desert with its life underground and a perfect disguise above". Just then her brother came in and kicked my ass. But I got the last laugh because he was suspended for fighting. The basketball noises will drive the coolness out of him.

Queso El Story Chapter 14
Mood:  surprised
Now Playing: say what????
So anyway, there I was , riding down the road in the rain with broken windshield wipers. And I don't mean the fuse was blown or a switch was fried. I mean, the wind has blown my wiper blades clean in half. Like when Clint Eastwood says " the 34 magnum is the most powerful gun in the universe and it can blow your head clean off". Doesn't sound very clean to me, man. What a mess. But if you got shot on the hood of car, and your wipers worked, they could clean it up fast. Hmph. I'd never thought about it until just now. Anyway, oh yeah-so it was really dark and rainy. I saw this hitchhiker. I needed some good karma, so I picked him up. You'll never believe this, but it was Michael J. Fox. I began telling him my true adventures from '74, back in Vegas when I toured with Wayne Newton. I'd gotten my uncle and my neighbor, the drummer from Foghat and my other neighbor jobs with his road crew. Did you know Wayne Newton was a man? Weird. We hadn't gotten too far when we started arguing about time travel. I tried in vain to convince him that the Egyptians had invented time travel, but not for traveling. It was for cooking their food. And it has nothing to do with heat. We agreed on this part, cuz he said the Delorean's door was in fact, cold on that initial run. The Egyptians were sick and tired of waiting on their food to cook. See back then, they didn't have ovens like now, and the microwave was still a few years away , even for them. They cooked their food right out in the Sun. This took forever. Advanced civilization my foot. So they came up with a time machine to skip ahead to the point in time when their food was ready. This insured hot meals instantly for everyone. No one knows what it was made out of or how it worked. Even Davinci didn't know. As soon as the Grand Royal cooker guy invented the first clay oven, the time machine was dismantled. No one should know too much about their future meal, I always say.

The Adventures of Queso-John Brown
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: phreaky
The Adventures of Queso

Don't Lose Your Head:


I remember this one time back in 74... Roger Earl, (You know the drummer from foghat) my uncle and I were out drinking. Well we got pretty tore up and Roger wasn't feeling good so we decided to call it a night. We jumped in my classic 1974 Monte Carlo and headed out. I don't remember a whole lot from the drive cause I was pretty messed up, but thanks to my exceptional ninja skills I can still drive even if I am totally passed out.

The next morning I woke up with a killer hangover. I felt like just staying in bed all day but I had a nude figure drawing class. You know me nothing will get me out of bed faster than nude figure drawing. I put on my best cheap sunglasses and headed out.

When I got to the studio there was no one else there so I sat down and started talking to the chick and she was really giving me the cold shoulder. She wouldn't say anything. Well I must have been really hung over because I didn't notice it at first but this chick doesn't have a freakin head. She completely decapitated. Turns out that she set something wrong on the kill in pottery class and it blew her head and clothes off, can ya believe she wasn't a nude model at all!

I decided to finish the drawing before calling the authorities. I gave her a buffalo head to symbolize the plight of my people the Native Americans, and then I called the cops and had a breakfast burrito.

Queso's Life
About the Artist

Queso; born in Akron, Ohio in 1958; has been a lifelong student of nature and life. A descendent of the Seneca and Iroquois nation, Queso has spent most of his life in the natural, wooded regions of Ohio that are rich in Native American history. His interest in art was sparked by the wildlife he enjoyed while hunting, fishing and hiking these areas as a youth.
He studied at the University of Akron in Ohio and Gainesville College in Georgia. Queso uses a variety of medium for his art such as acrylic, oils, watercolor, pastels
and charcoal. Most recently, he has begun a series of wildlife and Native American paintings using the natural canvas of smooth river rocks from north Georgia. "The rock canvas creates the feeling of life spirit and movement with its natural texture, color and shadow", Queso says.
Queso has lived in Georgia with his wife and three children for 22 years.

Queso El Story Chapter 13
Mood:  hug me
Topic: 74- awesome year, man
So there I was. Sketching away in this bar. I had my deluxe 33 x 22 inch green pad. I was tucked away in my own little corner and was sure no one had noticed me. Just then this gorgeous gal comes out of nowhere. She had on this tight pair of bellbottoms, a half shirt with no sleeves, and this bright blue eye shadow. And her shirt was really cool, too. It read, " Foxy Lady" and the bottom of the y was like this big fox tail that curled all the way back under the letters. Really neat. I explained to her that this bar was my Graceland. I don't think she got it. Good thing for her she was pretty. This girl was something. Here it was , early 74 and I'd just met the best looking lady of the year. So far. So anyway, she asks what I'm doing, and I told her. I had been sketching a chick on the far side of the room, but now I knew I needed to get her to pose. I asked her if I could buy her a drink and she said 'Sure'. But when I asked if I could sketch her, she got weirded out or something. It turns out that her great grandmother had posed for the Mona Lisa and didn't get paid for it, so it was a sore subject with her. I told her about all the books I'd read by DaVinci and whatnot. This was Louie DaVinci of DaVinci's deli on 3rd street in Cleveland. Man, could that guy sketch!! He was my hero. Anyway, I think I insulted her cuz she threw my ginger ale in my face and had the bouncers throw me out. I had not begun any of my Ninja training, so I had to lump it. I sure didn't like it. But she kept yelling something about Michael Angel of Ranger or jello or something. Weird chick. Too bad. She was almost awesome. Anyway, it turned out well because the very next night I was back in there. I started my Ninja training the next day and had rapidly advanced all the way to level 42. Yep. In one day! Well, not really one day, more like an afternoon. Reminds me of that song, " Afternoon Delight" by the J. Geils Band. Those guys were awesome until the drummer tried to do the drumming handstand like the drummer from Foghat. But the rest, as they say, is history.
Oh , I almost forgot. My Uncle and my neighbor said they saw the same chick on another night and that she was fired for lying about her grandmother. Can you believe that? Some people. I really hate it when someone has a story about anything you might mention.

Queso El Story, John Brown Special Edition
Mood:  not sure
Topic: Queso in Country


Queso In Country:
The Nam Year, 1974

So anyway back while you were still getting your milk from your momma we had this "police action" going on in a little country called Vietnam...

It was 1974. My country once again needs my superior ninja skills in some third world crap bucket. The CIA contacted me and said I was needed "In Country" as we veterans like to say. So they put my but on a C130 next thing I know I'm up to my knees in water buffalo crap, in the middle of rice paddy. My mission was classified but I can tell you this much, I was on my own, no back up, no support. Just me and Charlie "mono e mono." (That means one on one) Well we really weren't one on one because there were like six million of them and just one of me, but you get my meaning.

So anyway I'm supposed to infiltrate the VC, you know Charlie? The Cong? You get the drift. Well the deal is I find them, infiltrate and make them think I'm sympathetic to their cause like that chick that married Ted Turner. So then I'm supposed to find out where they keep all the POW's. Then I'm supposed to go in there rescue them and march them through the jungle and a special forces team meets us and we get the hell out of dodge, or in this case Nam.

So where was I? Oh yeah! So I dropped in to the Nam... literally. I parachuted in from like sixty thousand feet out of the infamous blackbird spy plane. Yeah I know what you're thinking, but your wrong. You can parachute out of a Blackbird, besides it was the fastest way to get me over there. See what they did was put me in a little pod under the plane and when we were over the target they punched me out and I dropped like a stone. The pod was small but my uncle trained me in the skills of the ninja and I was like a level 39 at this time so he taught me how to go into this meditative state, which now meant I was a confirmed level 40 ninja.

So now I'm dropping at like 1000 feet per second waiting for my chute to open so to help me stay relaxed I whip out my sketch pad and draw a quick portrait of this sexy looking Vietnamese chick that I can see out the little porthole on my infiltration pod. I have to draw really fast since the pod is turning end over end. As I get closer to the ground I really start adding detail because I want to be done by the time my chute opens. If I am still drawing when it opens I could like ram my charcoal pencil all the way up into my sinuses.
With the ground racing up at me I notice the girl has no shirt on and is walking behind the biggest water buffalo I've ever seen. I quickly sketch her beautifully toned back and put up my pencil just as the specially designed chute deploys and stops my speedy plunge at just 15 feet above the ground. I splash down and immediately bail out of my pod so it doesn't fill with the murky, stinking rice paddy water. I pull down the chute and look around for the girl but all I see is this dude walking behind a water buffalo. Then it hits me; I had developed major wood while I was sketching a dude not a chick! I feel so creeped out that I pull my service revolver pop him in the forehead and quickly bathe in the rice paddy.

Not a good sign... I was hoping that I could win the hearts and minds of these little dudes without violence.

To be continued.

Queso El Story, Special Justin Edition
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Cheese Will Save Us
The Year is 1984, and the world is in a state of turmoil. Anarchist have taken over with their pink cut off sweatshirts, and tight rolled pants. The leader of the Anarchist went by the name of Z Cavaricci. The world was a scary and tacky place infested by smelly feet due to the loafers without socks. And all the Anarchists thought they were true ninjas because of their half ass training at Joe Corley and the strict regiment of watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Return of The OOZ. When All that was good in the world was thought to be lost due to the end of the 70's, one man stood among the horizon overlooking the neon waste land that layed beneath him. He straps on his leather jacket with an airbrushed wolf on it and starts to run toward the apocolypse. He arives in the town square holding only a couple of Drawing Pencils and a couple of Wendy's napkins with sketches of women nude named Candy, Vixen, and Oprah. The man looks to the craziness around him and yells Southern Rock will Keep On Truckin.
All the sudden he sees a million zippers standing right in front of him.It was Z Cavaricci himself in a Michael Jackson Jacket. Z Cavaricci yells to Queso Grande This movement is for Members Only? and out from the billowing smoke comes a man dressed in all black. Z Cavaricci Laughs outloud and says " your no match for my secret weopon, Michael Dudikoff, The American Ninja. Queso giggles has he watches this ninja level 15 version 2 go through his Katas. " Your skills are average my foe, Queso says you are not worth my time I am a level 62 version 5.2!! I will let you fight my my companion, his name is "MyUnclewhowastheDrummerofFoghat", While you guys fight to the death I will paint the war on this rock over here on the ground. So "MyUnclewhowastheDrummerofFoghat. and Michael Dudikoff fight and the American Ninja was no match for the decrepit drummer. The drummer did a four hour drum solo of Inagodda Davita on his ass. Now Z Cavarricci was scared and he looked at the seventies duo and said Im sorry for what tackiness I have caused you two were right polyester and unbutton shirts with chest hair that looks like burlap is the way to go. please accept my apology the world is yours again. And Discos, naked women napkins and cheesy rock art gave the world the warmth it was yearning for.